Our 4th of July: Co-Parenting for the win.

We did a thing for the fourth of July holiday. We co-parented. But wait…don’t we do this every day? Yes. We do. Both Randy & I have good relationships with our child(ren)’s other parent. We all work really hard to make sure our kids never feel a hiccup, never feel torn between going here or there, never feel like their parents hate being in the same room. Even if there were/are times that that is true, the one thing we all have in common is that we will do ANYTHING for our children.

I can tell you that the very first thing Randy & I communicated about when we first started talking was that our number one priority was, and always will be, our children. Kaiden is his life, and Delaney & Co are mine. Nothing will EVER change that. We literally ran through a list of questions to ensure that each other were on the same page in regard to parenting, priorities, etc. You could say we both had learned through previous relationships exactly what we were looking for and were definitely not going to waste time “dating”. We were both extremely serious about the potential person that may be brought into our families.

I met Kaiden’s mom, Heather, and her little gem of a family shortly after Randy & I started dating at a baseball game. She was friendly, her other two boys were adorable, and she’s just as gorgeous as I knew she would be—not going to lie, it was a little intimidating. After all, this was a NEW role for me..one I’d never played and I liter

Pictured: Kaiden's step-dad, James; Uncle Andrew; Amy; Mom, Heather;
Grandpa John; Great Uncle Matt; Dad, Randy; Me; Grandma Merry

ally had no idea what to do. After Delaney and Cohen’s dad started dating, I shifted my mindset to look at what I would want to have in a relationship with whomever he may be with and that’s how I started to shift my thinking.

In the months that followed, we started following each other on Instagram so we could keep up with each other’s families, share things about Kaiden, and just you know….get to know each other just how you do in 2019: social media. 😊 We chatted occasionally about anything…clothes, fitness, mommin’, our kids.

As we saw each other more frequently during this baseball season, the kids (my two & her other two are the same ages!) got to play together and I think we all saw something that maybe none of us expected.

Randy first brought up the idea of having a blended family get together for fourth of July and I just love him for that. Now, had Heather & I not been in contact at all, this might have been uncomfortable. But with the communication we were starting to have, I was all about this! A couple weeks before the party we were chatting everyday—so looking forward to creating a friendship, and of course, showing our children that we can all come together. Not just for events or graduations, but whenever we want. We all get along, and how nice is it for the kids to have ALL their people in one place, getting along, relaxing together?

It really doesn’t have to be hard. It doesn’t need to be an awful experience for anyone. Especially children. See past your past. See past whatever happened before. See the potential what CAN be if you can move on. It can be hard, letting new people in your children’s lives—I get that 1000%. I’m still working on it too. For now, I’m thankful that I get to be a ‘bonus mom’ (also, I legit teared up when Heather referred to me as that), I’m thankful that we’re in this place where we get to do things like this together. I’m thankful that I entered a relationship with two mature people that are focused on putting their son’s happiness first. I’ve told them both, but I respect them both as parents. They have raised an AMAZING young man. One I am thankful that my kids get to have as a role model.

All this to say…just give it a try. Or take the first step. We made some beautiful memories this past fourth (& fourth of July just so happens to be one of my favorite holidays).