Yeah, I’m needy AF & an overthinker. And I’m guessing you are too.

The more I talk to other women, the more I’ve come to realize we really are all so damn similar. I don’t know if there’s something in the water, but are we all just like, really needy?

Now. Don’t get me wrong. I pride myself on being 100% independent. A badass bitch. Boss babe. Like, all those #womenempowerment titles. But when it comes to me in a relationship (and I’m not just talking about a romantic one, but friendship, family, etc.) I’m seriously needy AF. But. I KNOW THIS. And if I’m being honest, I think most of us are—or perhaps I just roll with a crowd with like minded folk.

I was just reading a thread in a mom group I’m apart of and it was all about how literally ALL of us feel undervalued, unappreciated, like a maid, and taken for granted. And I am no different. This is literally me at least once a week, usually on Sundays, while I do five loads of laundry, cook 17 meals for the week, put all the laundry away (ok, so this doesn’t happen everyyy Sunday) and whatever the hell else I didn’t do the few days before.  What does it take for me to not feel this way? Literally, just a “I appreciate you”. That’s it. Just the recognition of the effort I put in. Needy? Maybe.

How about that anxiety? The overthinking of literally EVERYTHING. If you’re dealing with someone like me, just know that your words mean everything. If something is “good”—note that means it’s not great. That it could be better. The term ‘good’ is then psychoanalyzed beyond measure.

Women are often times, dreamers. They plan, prepare, think through, the next five years or more. Whether you’re the friend, significant other, spouse, or whomever. Just dream with her. Just entertain the conversation. I know for me, I have to map out life. That’s just how I am. The unknown feels extremely insecure to me, and I don’t like it. I can’t even function. I need to know things are secure (whether that be my job, my friendships, the support of my family, my relationships, even down to my schedule).

If you follow me, you know all about how I’m on a journey to falling in love with my body. While I think I will literally always be on the journey, never quite finishing it, I do still have plenty of days of insecurity. I am happy to say though, that over the past few years, I have scene a shift in culture. And to be honest, this may be because of who I still follow, who I surround myself with, and so on, but I see SO many posts and comments from women, to women, telling them positive comments. Instead of everyone being jealous bitches, we’re proud of each other and virtually clapping for each other. And let me tell you, I’m HERE for it. Bout’ damn time. But that’s all to say, keep that shit going. You like her hair? Tell her. You think her butt looks good in those jeans? Tell her. Jealous of her perfect teeth? Tell her that too. Men, this goes for you too. TELL YOUR GIRL. Mk?

Another thing I’m needy about—just tell me your plans ahead of time. I used to be a control freak—I won’t lie about that. It’s one thing I took really seriously on my few years of self-reflection. Be supportive of hobbies. Don’t freak out if someone doesn’t want to spend every waking moment with you. The good news is that I actually enjoy my time to myself now, and I don’t need that anymore. I do need, however, to know plans ahead of time. Just tell me when you won’t be here, or that you can’t come to something so I know. Again, the whole unknown thing? Very scary. Also, the planning thing…guaranteed I’ve already planned shit out, so again…need.to.know.

If you made it this far in my ramble of a blog post, and you find yourself nodding in agreement—just know you’re not a psychopath. I think it’s just inherent now, with the ability to compare yourselves, your houses, your kids, your relationships and marriages to literally ANYONE has us over analyzing. In constant need of some sort of reassurance and the acknowledgement that you are enough (not just to yourself, because yes, that should eb enough…but you want to know your value with others too. And that’s ok.)